


Higher Love

by tylerandburnham



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-19 12:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tylerandburnham/pseuds/tylerandburnham
Summary: A year after the Star Trek Discovery Season 2 finale, Ash is fatally injured on a Section 31 mission. Michael comes as the Red Angel to save him.
Relationships: Michael Burnham/Ash Tyler | Voq
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	Higher Love

Higher Love

“Think about it, there must be a higher love

Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above

Without it, life is wasted time

Look inside your heart, and I'll look inside mine

Things look so bad everywhere

In this whole world, what is fair?

We walk the line and try to see

Fallin' behind in what could be, oh

Bring me a higher love

Bring me a higher love, oh

Bring me a higher love

Where's that higher love I keep thinking of?”

HIgher Love, Whitney Houston and Kygo

Ash Tyler is dying. So is Voq, if he thinks about it, which he does. What he then thinks is Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam. Today is a good day to die. So very Klingon. But it was not an honorable Klingon death. Betrayed and stabbed in the back, figuratively and somewhat literally. Seems more like a human death. Is he…? Human? Klingon? Both? These thoughts used to bother him more but over the years he has become more comfortable with himself. Mostly by focusing on those he loves. On her he loves. He is who he is. He loves who he loves.The most important thing is he identifies as Ash Tyler. But stabbed and dying is who he is right at this moment . QuvHutlhHoHboghtlhIngan 'ach qabDaj 'angbe'bogh. A klingon who attacks without showing his face has no honor. 

Staggering back to his shuttle and trying to stem the blood flow with what little extra cloth he has isn’t working. Stumbling, he sinks to his knees. He has to keep moving if he is going to survive. He pushes himself back up with his hands on the ground and then he is back on his feet again. But his legs are unsteady. He stumbles into a deserted alleyway and slumps down the wall into a sitting position. He should call for help from Section 31. He fingers his Section 31 badge, but help is too far away to arrive in time. No need to reach out. He, the director of Section 31, is going to die on Qo'noS. Kronos. He feels...a little embarrassed after all he’s been through, all the other times he could have or should have died but didn’t.. 

He briefly thinks of L’Rell and feels sorrow for her. He could never be what she wanted him to be, but still he holds the memories of her love, Voq. For now. He should have told her what he was up to, but they hadn’t spoken in such a long time. Not since… If there was something to talk to her about he would have but now the potential intel is gone, if it had ever been real in the first place. He knew the risks of coming back here and had taken precautions. Not good enough apparently. Someone must have figured out he wasn’t really dead as L’Rell had claimed. Maybe someone had known he was alive and had been biding his or her time? Kor’s house? All klingons believe him to be a traitor and a baby murderer. Just finding him alive would be enough of a motive for a killer if he or she believed the lies. Well he’ll never know now what led him to this end. And it is his end.

Coughing he covers his mouth but pulling his hand away he sees the blood. Definitely not a good sign. 

Hope begins to fade that his life can be saved so he finally, finally, lets his mind drift to where it always wants to go. 

_ Michael.  _

_ Where are you? When are you? Are you safe? Are you happy? I miss you. I miss looking at you. I miss my arms around you. I miss kissing you. I miss talking to you. I miss the way your smile lights up your eyes. Those smiles had become so rare. I love those smiles. I love you. I will always be in love with you. _

Ash can’t help but smile. There are so many things to miss about Michael Burnham. It always comes back to this memory black hole, like the one Alice in Wonderland fell down. He read that book after she left. It was so important to her that he had to read it. He sees why she liked it so much. Up is down and down is up. How often has he felt that about his own life? How deep his memory black hole goes he doesn’t know. He could stay in that hole, falling, thinking about Michael. There is no end to thinking about Michael and all the memories they shared together. Which is why he typically pulls himself back and moves forward with his life. He has people to save, wars and annihilation to prevent, Michael to protect. It always comes back to duty.

Has he done all that he promised her? Has he made sure Control will never happen again? Has he protected Michael? He hopes so but who knows. Only time can tell. And he’s run out of that...

_ Michael. _

If only thinking about her could summon her from the future. He hoped all he had done as the director of Section 31 was worth it. Otherwise he has achieved nothing and in the process he has broken both Michael’s and his hearts. But he has to believe he has done some good to protect her. He had never wanted anything so much in his life as to go with her, to be with her.

_ Have I kept you safe, Michael? Was it worth it?  _

Ash’s eyes have gotten dimmer suddenly and he feels a sense of panic. He takes some short breaths trying to calm himself.

_ We were getting back to a good place weren’t we, Michael? I should have told you that I love you during those last moments. You do know that, right? _

Now, Ash’s eyes close but in one heartbeat he feels like there is a red light burning through his eyelids. He slowly opens his eyes and doesn’t understand what he sees. Is this the end? An angel?

And then his breath catches with understanding and realization. Although it could be…? 

The next thing he knows the Red Angel is kneeling next to him. A hypospray is being injected into his neck and another medical instrument is being wanded over his wound. Ash sees none of this. He can only stare in wonder at the face behind the helmet.

“Michael,” Ash finally manages to get out.

Michael smiles with the most beautiful smile that he has ever seen. “Ash. You’re going to be okay Thanks to Dr. Culber, what I’ve given you will stabilize you until help arrives. Section 31 agents are on their way and will be here shortly.”

Ash still can’t believe what he is seeing. “Are you a dream, Michael?”

“No, Ash,” said Michael still smiling. “It’s me. It’s good to see you.”

He couldn’t help it. He laughs although it comes out as more of a chuckle. “I feel the same.” The pain is diminishing. Whether it is because of something she had given him or his joy in seeing her, he doesn’t know. Doesn’t care. She is here. With him.

Michael looks at him steadily and puts her gloved hand on Ash’s cheek. He brings his hand up and covers her hand. She leans in and momentarily and gently touches her helmet to his forehead before pulling back. “I’m so sorry, Ash. I only have a limited time and I can’t take off the suit. I wish I could….”

He nods and the tears that hadn’t come before start to fill his eyes. And Michael’s tearful eyes mirror his own. “Ash, what were you thinking? Coming here? Alone?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

All Michael could do was shake her head. “I wish I could tell you what I’ve been up to but I can’t. We don’t want to mess up the timeline.”

A serious expression works its way over Ash’s face. “Maybe saving me hurts the timeline? Maybe I’m supposed to die here?”

Michael’s hand turns and takes Ash’s hand in her own. She gives it a squeeze. “I couldn’t let you die, Ash. Not when I have the power to save you.”

A smile plays across Ash’s lips. “So I’m not the only one that operates in the gray areas?”

Michael laughs and shakes her head. “I guess you are right.” With her free hand she puts her hand over Ash’s Section 31 badge attached to his clothes and over his heart. “I know you were lost and looking for a place to belong, where you could do good. They couldn’t have picked a better person for their director. You are keeping us all safe, Ash.”

A tear falls down Ash’s face and a few more began to fall. “I was looking for who I belonged to and who belonged to me. It’s always been you, Michael. Always you.”

Michael tries to brush away Ash’s tears, smiling at him as her own tears fall. “I feel the same.” She glances down at her wrist and then back up at Ash. “I’m so sorry, Ash. I have to go.”

Ash grips one of her hands in his. “Be careful, Michael. Please.”

With her gloved hand, Michael brushes her knuckles against Ash’s cheek. “I will if you do the same. I have the Discovery crew and you looking out for me. But I need you to know, you have me. You have me.” 

“I love you, Michael. I’ve missed you so much.” Ash’s voice broke saying those words.

Michael can barely keep her voice steady. “I know. Me too, Ash. Me too. I love you. And if we can find a way to complete our mission and get back to you, we will. I promise.”

Michael wraps her arms around Ash’s neck and he wraps his arms around her body. They stay that way for only a few moments in actual time. But it feels like eternity to both of them. Reluctantly Michael releases Ash and he, feeling her pull away, releases her. He fights every impulse to grab her and hold on. They both gaze at each other.

"Help will be here soon. I love you, Ash”

“Hell, yes, I love you, Michael. Always.”

Michael nods. She turns and leaves quickly before her resolve collapses. There is nothing she could do anyways, but the last thing she wants is for Ash to see her ripped away like she had watched her mother get ripped away into the future.She disappears around a corner and is gone.

In a few moments, Ash spots a red light in the sky move upward and then disappears. How can he be overjoyed and devastated all at the same time? Michael’s capacity for love has saved him again and again. She is his tether. And knowing she is out there and has made it safely into the future, he will carry that, and her, with him. Always.


End file.
